Saturday, August 27, 2011

slow progress

Hi all,

It's been a crazy week. I experienced my first earthquake (aftershocks, really), which was no fun. I was reading in bed when the house started to jump up and down. Then in my haste to throw myself from the bed into the wheelchair I used my bad leg, which caused me to see stars for a second.

So yeah, I'm still not walking. I had another appointment this past Wednesday, where I found that instead of being partial weight bearing for 2 weeks like the surgeon originally said I'll be partial weight bearing for a whole month. I'm told this is normal, but I wept like a baby at that news. I understand that my leg will get stronger as I put more weight on it, but it's not easy. It's painful, and if I put too much weight on it there is a chance that the metal rod will snap and I'll have to start all over again. Depressing thought, yes? So I go for another appointment at the end of September, where they'll hopefully tell me I can start putting my full weight on it again. Have I mentioned that it's been over a month since I've taken a real shower?

And just for icing on the cake-we're dealing with a hurricane. Thankfully we aren't directly in the path of Irene, but we're anticipating power outages, high wind gusts, and torrential rain. Normally I wouldn't be too worried (thanks Florida), but since I can't walk I'm pretty anxious to have it come and go already. Anyway, we've stocked up on the essentials, the cooler is packed, and we have our candles/flashlights/reading materials ready to go.

I feel like a bad news bear. And I won't lie-I'm depressed about the whole situation. But work is still giving me stuff to do from home, my boyfriend is being amazing, and my family has been very supportive. It could be much worse. But sometimes it's easy for me to lose sight of the better things that are going on.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

a sample of my view

Hi all,

Being stuck in bed is boring at best, so I thought I would try to give an update. First off-thanks for all the wonderful comments. This has been such an incredibly hard time to deal with, and it means a lot to me that you all take the time to stop by and read the blog.

As for an update-The crutches never worked out for me. I have zero upper body strength and negative amounts of balance and coordination. So for the first few days I was stuck in bed. But I was on so many pain killers that I'm not sure I cared much at the time. My mom ended up staying an extra week since D had to go back to work, and while she was here she found a walker that my grandmother must have gotten from one of her hospital visits. So I started using the walker and now I'm able to at least take myself over to the bathroom. 

Over the past week I've been trying to stop taking any and all pain killers. Unfortunately, I had no idea what severe withdrawal symptoms come along with the Oxycodone/Percocet cocktail. After I stopped taking them I couldn't sleep, I had no appetite, I couldn't go to the bathroom, and I would wake up at night covered in sweat. Fortunately most of that seems to have subsided, though I'm still having trouble sleeping.

I go to the Dr. tomorrow and they'll be taking out the staples that cover a large portion of my right leg. As of last week the surgeon told me I'm healing perfectly. In another 2 weeks I hope to be putting partial weight on my leg, and another 2 weeks after that I hope to be walking again. I never knew a broken leg took so damn long to heal.

M work has been absolutely wonderful. I'm working part-time from home this week and maybe I'll manage a full work-week next week. Then, once I can put partial weight on my leg I'll look into getting back into the office.

As for the death of my grandmother, it hasn't really hit me. I'm sleeping in her family room (D brought down a bedframe and mattress from the second floor since I won't be able to go up the stairs any time soon), but she never really came in here, so I don't find myself looking for her very often. I think the absence of cigarette smoke is what really reminds me that something is different. She smoked one after the other, and sometimes I find myself wondering why it doesn't smell smokey all the time. But I'll definitely have some mental recovery to do once I really realize that Gammy isn't coming back.

So how about some photos? Katy Kat is completely confused by the bed being downstairs, but she jumps up with me quite often. If you're wondering about the tacky sheets, there's a sliding glass door that lets in a lot of sun so my mom covered it up with some sheets. Gammy had such great decor taste, yes? :)

And this was my view, before D moved a TV in front of me so I could play with our new Wii (we bought one right before this happened) and I'm catching up on Dollhouse via Netflix.

And finally, here I am with my parents the day of the funeral. I guess it might seem odd to take a photo on such a day, but it's rare to have us all in one place and I wanted to remember it. It really seems like it was ages ago, although today marks 2 weeks. Is it weird that it hurts to look at my former legs?

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. I haven't had a chance to read any blogs lately but I hope to start back up soon. I've missed seeing all the wonderful outfits you all put up.

Happy-ish Tuesday!

Dress: Anne Klein via Macy's
Shoes: Clarks Artisan via Lord & Taylor